Jim Travels The World

last sunday in st. kilda, the area in melbourne formerly known as the best place for quality drugs & prostitutes, is now home to an annual festival celebrating festivities of st. kildaness here are some of the highlights from our visit: heaps of people young ladies silent clubbing. i hear it's big in the UK, i could not envision why. it looks retarded. kite sailing.

messages on the walls of the train   because snarky wisdom has always changed my behavior for the better

In Amurrica, what we would call white trash or redneck or hick, in Oz is called the "bogan". In my neighborhood, we don't often spot this elusive creature, but I spied one near the South Yarra train station yesterday: note the telltale signs of a bogan: 1. half-shaved, half-mulleted quasi-dreaded hair. 2. "High-Vis" gear, indicating a blue-collar profession 3. High Vis gear is dirty, prolly not washed in several days 4. Short shorts 5. Thick socks and boots, in the middle of summer Other signs, not pictured: Heavy metal tattoos, can of alco-pop, sneering expression. I apologize for the substandard picture quality, but i only had a few moments to get my phone out to snap a picture of this elusive beast. If you see one out in the wild, do not approach . Instead, take all necessary precautions: If he presents his teeth or shows any other sign of aggression, gather any children with you close, make yourself very "tall" and wave your arms above your head wh...

now that i've made the trip across the Pacific ocean a total of 5 times, i'm beginning to consider myself experienced in the art of Long-Range Inter-Continental Travel. Flying 2 hours from denver to LA, then 14 from LA to sydney, then 1 more hour to melbourne can take its toll on someone. when I get to the gate and the people start to file in, we all cautiously look around at each other. these people are going to be my roommates for the next 16 hours or so. no one looks happy, but we all just know if we can get through it, then we have the customs & immigration post-flight grilling to look forward to! There are a few simple things you can do to ensure your travel is easier: make sure you have one of those curvy travel pillows. it sucks to wake up with neck pain halfway through a long flight an ipod/laptop/portable media player with extra batteries or charger. you really can't count on the in-fight entertainment, because they always pretty much just show the newest san...

the day i made the conscious decision to stop saying "y'all" was a big step in my evolution as a human being. 3 days ago (or 4? i can't even tell anymore) i boarded a Qantas jet bound for los angeles. i had row to myself, which was pretty sweet. these new qantas planes have individual tv screens with a huge selection of movies. which was also pretty sweet. hurt locker is a good movie. anyway, got the pat-down in melourne before leaving. titilating. when i arrived at LAX, walked down the stairs to the customs lines. there were 50 lines, and the first dozen were full, so a customs guy was standing in front, telling people to move on down the line. some little asian guy, who just got off a 13-hour flight, prolly didn't speak english, was trying to enter one of the full lines. the customs guy yelled at him "hey buddy! what part of keep walking don't you understand?". yep, i'm back in america. two days with the fam in Texas, now i'm in boulder, ba...

. These dolls are Golliwogs , toys popular in Oz and Europe in the last century. While they don't sell them much anymore , I've spoken to some Aussies who hold them in high regard. As an American, my first thought at looking at that doll is that it's racist and promotes an incorrect stereotype of people of African descent. However, to many Aussies, it's completely harmless, which brings me to Harry Connick jr. A few months ago, Harry was a guest judge on the Aussie show Hey Hey It's Saturday . The show had an act called the Jackson Jive, which was 5 guys in blackface another in "whiteface" as Michael Jackson. Seems a bit racist too, doesn't it? Apparently, not to Aussies. But Harry Connick Jr thought so, and demanded an apology from the show's host, causing a bit of a stir in the country. Some Aussies came out in support of Harry, saying that  the skit is dated. But others (including people I talked to), call Harry a presumptuous, overly-PC whiner ...

not really, but i spent some time watching it with some people who were capable of explaining it to me well, and so i have a better idea: one teams serves as the other teams hits (but they don't call it hitting or serving, it's...maybe batting and bowling? i can't remember). Anyway, the guy who is bowling/serving tries to toss at it the feet of the guy hitting. Not to his his feet, but to hit those 3 sticks behind him. if he hits one, he knocks off the little ball sitting on top of the stick ("wicket"). if he does, dude's out. the guy batting tries to hit the ball when it's served, but more important is to protect the wickets. when he hits a ball, he runs to where the server guy is. the next batter does the same thing, and the players cross each other, that's a run. the server throws 6 balls to get an out. there's 10 outs in an over. got it so far?* so, in a 5-day test match, which the aussies love to play because no one in the world can beat them,...