Jim Travels The World

Builders in New Mexico use adobe like it grows on trees. The eye of Sauron watches over this window grate If the blue meth made its way up from Albuquerque, it's not in Taos. At least not in any of the convenience stores I went into. Everything here is "historic," which is code for janky. I took a historic poop, because I'm a patriot The skies are cloudless and gigantic Lake Williams, near Taos Valley Ski Area On every street corner is a coffee shop, and each is filled with anti-Monsanto bumper stickers and quinoa no-bake cookies The ratio of people to dogs rivals Telluride, the most doggiest city in America* At least thrice per day, a fire truck or ambulance went screaming down the street. Taos is a tiny little tourist town, I can't imagine what all the fuss is about. Rest

Faygo is a real thing, and not just Juggalos drink it. Dee licious Most houses in neighborhoods have no fences around them. It's like some giant urban planner took a handful of dwellings and tossed them across a field. Also, many of these houses have plastic mailboxes with front and back hatches. Because who has time to walk all the way around to the front of a mailbox? This is America . I want my mail now . These neighborhoods do not have sidewalks The Michigan definition of "condo" is different than the rest of the civilized world. Apparently, a one story house is a condo. The lakes up north have real beaches. I had to see to believe And on these lakes, there are some wicked awesome sunsets Also there are boats and fishermen and stuff.  In Grand Haven, there's a surf shop called the Wet Mitten  (I know, right?), so apparently people surf on these lakes. I did not witness this. Around the lakes, there's 99% humidity,

I know the title makes it sound like some kind of charitable environmental movement. Not so much. One of my life goals is to hike every trail in Rocky Mountain National Park. I've been at this since about 2006, and since that time, I've documented every trail hiked on a map of RMNP. It's a combination of day hikes, snowshoeing , overnights and multi-day backpacking . I have no idea how many total miles I have done, but their website  (if you believe their slanted, liberal media opinion) says that there are over 300 miles of trails in the park. I've hiked somewhere around 200 of those miles in the last 7 years. This summer, I completed another 50 miles in 2 separate three-day backpacking weekends: (arrows added in case you're an idiot) 1. From Cache le poudre trailhead up to mirror lake, 29 miles out and back (unless you're Australian , then it's return ) 2. CO river trailhead to poudre pass, then to lake of the clouds, then loop

ERMAGERD BERNUS PERST! On the return trip from North Dakota to Colorado, we made a swing into Wyoming (as one usually does, of course) to see Devil's Tower National Monument. From far away, you get a view of the nubbin of this 800-foot rock that was the setting of the alien landing scene from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. nubbin The bittersweet joy of National Monuments– as opposed to National Parks– is that they contain an equal amount of natural beauty, but there's just not that much to do there. Devil's Tower, if you're not a rock climber (and I am one, but not that day), has little appeal outside of the 30-minute paved trail that encircles the base. I think we spent more time in the gift shop. Still, that's a damn big rock. And pointy, too. Follow my blog with Bloglovin HV9JQHH3U4G7

Day 5 Up from the motel and tried to find a place for breakfast in Medora. It's one of these tiny seasonal towns so everything is shut. We're told that the only option is at the convenience store, and yep, that's the place to be. Everyone in town is hanging out there. One thing that surprises me about North Dakota (and South, too) is the lack of accents. I guess I expected everyone to sound like the movie  Fargo , but not so much.  Drive into the park, it's mostly history lessons about Teddy Roosevelt at the visitor center. I'd heard of the Rough Riders and the story about getting shot, but here's some awesome facts (from Amazing Ben ) He stood outside and gave a two-hour speech in Milwaukee immediately after being shot in the chest in an assassination attempt.  It was only after the speech ended that he went to the hospital to get the bullet removed. While he was out West, some douchebag named Mike Finnegan and his gang stole TR's boat.  Ins

On the second night of Badlands, at about 10 pm, a windstorm so fierce came through the campsite that the family across from us packed up and left. A single woman in a tent had to sleep in her car after wrestling with her tent for a half hour as her rain fly became an umba-rella whipping in the wind. Never heard wind so violent in my life. Fortunately for us, we had the foresight to forego the tent and pack my Element for camping. Roughin it, bitches. The car rocked back and forth a little bit, but nothing so serious as destroyed tents In morning packed up left Badlands. On our way up north, we had to stop through Wall, South Dakota to visit the famous Wall Drug . It's sorta impossible not  to visit Wall, since as soon as you enter SD, every ten feet there's a billboard enticing you to visit with signs like "free ice water!". How can you turn down free ice water? Wall Drug is basically a mini-mall, themed like a wild west saloon. it's c

Day 2 Checked out of Alex Johnson in Rapid city and drive to badlands. Got a bit lost on the way (Google Maps, you are not  infallible), but got to see more prairie, so that was awesome (sarcasm). Badlands is a dry desert collection of mud mountains like goblin valley state park. All of this is like a less impressive version of Utah. alright, so I'm a harsh critic . I expect a lot from my national parks. Vacations ain't cheap, know what I mean? We mostly drive through park today, hung out at the visitor center and took pictures of bison. The impressive thing about Badlands is, I think, is that it's a desert inexplicably in the middle of hundreds of miles of lush prairie land. These lands are bad. Windy. Like, cinch-the-baseball-cap-so-tight-that-I-can-feel-my-brain-being-squeezed windy.

Rapid City, South Dakota! does that name make you as excited as if you had just stepped in a pile of what seems like dog crap that turns out to be a pile of fluffy kittens instead? Did that sentence make any sense? Maybe not as exciting as you might think. But, this was our first stop along our Badlands trip, so there's going to be some pictures, whether you like or not. So, shut up and enjoy. We stayed at the hotel Alex Johnson , which pretty much fits in with the South Dakota theme of having tons of Native American stuff everywhere. You're practically tripping over dream catchers and head dresses and crap around here. Okay, those do look like swastikas on the hotel chandelier in the lobby. Apparently it's some kind of Sioux thing representing the four corners of blah blah blah. Or, maybe that's just what they want  you to believe. Outside the hotel, the alleyway is completely tagged with graffiti. Made us nostalgic for Melbourne . The posters o